Love

The Morning After

So here we are. February 15th. One day after cuffing season’s Championship game. As always, it was an interesting season. I saw some surprising results: both devastating losses and epic comebacks. Congrats to all the players that came out on top, you played well. But for those of you who didn’t have such a great Valentine’s Day and still find yourselves unhappily single or in a messy ‘situationship,’ I’m not going to insult you with sports cliché’s like “everyone is a winner,” because that’s not true. Valentine’s Day, as cheesy and superficial as it may seem, can be a very real indicator of your place in someone’s life and where you stand. Unfortunately, I’m sure some of you learned the hard way that second place is just the first to lose.

I can only imagine how many feelings were hurt and dreams were shattered by Valentine’s Day, but at least now you know. The truth is a hard pill to swallow, but it’s the first step to pain relief.

And I can tell you from personal experience that things do get better. Last February, I was in a completely different place in my love life. I had accepted dating in your twenties as a joke and was petitioning Facebook to offer “LOL” as an option for “relationship status.” I even wrote a Not Another Pre-Valentine’s Day post to express my grievances.

This year I’ve stepped out of the single-girl Twilight Zone and into a Nicolas Sparks movie …

The grass really is greener on the other side. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and I am sippin the Kool-Aid (more like chugging the Champaign)

The point is I’m extremely happy in my new relationship. But before you roll your eyes and change the channel, let me tell you honey … “[love] life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.” I’ve cried rivers, crossed countries and fought til’ the death to get to this place. I was at a 3-1 series deficit and all hope for the title was lost.

I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.

– Drake, Karaoke

Twenty-somethings have a tendency to be very dramatic. Personally, I thought I was going to die and that I would never love again after my first heartbreak. Subsequent disappointments never sting quite as bad, but they do add salt to the womb. One dating disaster turns into another, then another and eventually your Facebook timeline – with all the pregnancies and engagement announcements – gets harder to stomach. Valentine’s Day can be a particularly excruciating reminder of how single and lonely you really are. It can be a clear sign of who’s the side chick and who’s the main chick. It could also be the breaking point for singles who are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

But before you jump off the ledge, I just want to give you a little hope and say hold on! Patience is a very important virtue and YOU are worth the wait, so wait. Wait for the one you deserve and who deserves you. The one who treats you like a queen. The one who keeps a smile on your face and makes every day feel like Valentine’s Day. Keep your standards as high as your heels and wait. You made it through another disappointing Valentine’s Day and you have a whole year to determine how the next one will go… you could make a Cavaliers comeback and go home with the ring.

Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.

– Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City